Sex… God’s Idea
“Then the Lord God made a woman from the rib he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man. The man said, ‘This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called ‘woman, for she was taken out of man.’ That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh. Adam and his wife were both naked, and they felt no shame.” -Genesis 2:22-25
When was the last time you read an article about sex that led off with a Bible verse? When’s the last time you thought about the fact that God created sex? God made the first man, saw he needed someone to share life with, created the first woman, then brought her to him… naked. Yep. You read that right. They became one flesh as they were both naked and felt no shame.
We don’t talk much about sex on our podcasts or in our blog posts. We both had parents who were discreet about such conversations. And we grew up in the age of youth group sermons that preached, “don’t do it! It’s wrong!” Okay, maybe that’s just the part we heard. But, to be honest, it just wasn’t talked about much in church. The problem with that is, the world had plenty to say about it.
Any time God designs something and blesses it, the enemy counterfeits, distorts, or perverts it. Rather than looking to the One who designed sex and gave it to his creation as a gift, even as Christians, we continue to chase the empty seductions the enemy lures us with. He continues to spin his lies and deceptions through the ages and in the end, it’s marriages that end up suffering for it.
The Designer always knows the best way to enjoy His creation. Somewhere along the way we’ve bought the lie that God simply made sex as a functional act to procreate and populate the planet. That’s not the case. God saw that Adam needed companionship and intimate friendship. So, He created man’s counterpart, Eve. He lovingly designed her to physically fit together with Adam in a way that brought them both great pleasure. He could have easily made procreation practical, devoid of emotion or pleasure. But He didn’t!
God went a step further than simply making sex a means to create more humans by designing them to become “one flesh.” This is much more than a bodily experience. It is an emotional coming together in a way that binds us together as one. We think it’s interesting that our physical bodies as men and women mirror our emotional desire for our spouse. Think about it! Women desire to be known intimately, for her husband to discover her heart and fully understand her, who she is. She wants him to take his time before she is ready to “take him into herself.” She shares herself with him so she can be known. That’s why it takes a woman longer to climax than a man. She needs her husband to spend time enjoying her.
Men, on the other hand, have the drive to explore, discover, and conquer. In his pursuit of his wife, he is aroused by the process of uncovering and seeing her hidden places. He is designed to then show himself “strong” on her behalf. For the act to be consummated, the husband is required to “rise” to the occasion and come through for his wife. He finds excitement and takes pleasure in the conquest.
It’s in this coming together that a husband and wife can know each other more intimately than they know any other. God’s design for sex is to bond a man and woman together for life, for them to become one flesh, united, inseparable. But it flows out of the sweetness of the friendship. The connection in the bedroom is a consummation of the experiences, thoughts, and emotions they share with each other in day to day life.
So men, if you want a better sex life, take time to explore your wife’s emotions outside of the bedroom and her body in the bedroom. And women if you want your husband to take his time discovering you, spend less time nagging him and more time alluring him. Share in the conquests and interests in his life and let him know when you enjoy his explorations behind closed doors!
What a gift that God designed husbands and wives to enjoy each other mentally, emotionally, and physically. God knows that this is most passionately expressed and freely experienced within the healthy, secure, naked, and unashamed covenant relationship of marriage.
Enjoying the Aventure,
Daniel & Bonnie